The Cleaner by Brandi Wells

Author:Brandi Wells
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hanover Square Press
Published: 2023-11-05T22:52:15+00:00

IT’S STRANGE TO be heading toward work in the daytime. I’ve grabbed prework breakfast near the building before my shift or had dinner afterward, but it’s been years since I’ve gone to the office, or even near it, in broad daylight. Today, though, I cut my sleep short, shower, and head toward work before noon. The trek, which I normally make mindlessly, as though my body knows the way on its own, feels unfamiliar and harsh in the daylight. I’m worried I might turn the wrong way or miss my street. There’s more traffic and people than I’m used to. Even the polite people who probably believe they’re very quiet make a lot of noise: their footsteps, the rustle of their clothes, their exhalations and coughs and hums. It fills the air around me.

Ahead of me, a man loudly talks to himself, getting more and more heated, and I’m worried he might react to someone around him. He’s large enough to be menacing, and he’s carrying a thermos that he could easily use as a weapon. I’m slowing my pace to create a buffer between us when I realize he’s on the phone and isn’t some unpredictable man yelling at himself on his lunch break. No one else is looking, though. They’re all accustomed to this kind of scene and this kind of man. I’m trying to figure out who he’s yelling at or why, but he turns down a side street and he’s gone. I’ll never see him again, but I’ll see lots of people just like him. They might not be as boisterous, but that’s because they’re in their resting state.

Everyone, no matter how calm or friendly, could shift gears and ruin everything if you let them.

The café is over half full and I walk by it twice without going in, then stand outside pretending to be looking at my phone for nearly ten minutes before finally ducking inside. I’m worried about people seeing me, really looking at me, but no one even glances up, so I relax and set my stuff down next to one of three workstations. I had imagined there would be more, but most people have their own laptops, not worried about anyone tracking them down. They’re here for the change of scenery and the idea that they’ll be more productive in public than at home. But who would say anything if they online-shopped or even watched a movie with their headphones on? They don’t notice anyone around them, but they each think they’re very important and interesting, so other people must be watching them, criticizing them.

I go to the counter for a coffee and then log in to the email account that L. and I made. The email’s sitting there, ready to send. Even now, I’m anxious that there might be some way of knowing when and where the email was written. L. had promised there wouldn’t be, but technology is always surprising me, and it’s not like she has any kind of formal training or experience with computers.

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